Your thoughts help shape your reality.
Understanding that is the first step towards fixing an uninspired life filled with a lack of interest.
Sidenote: for additional content, checkout the audio version of 12 Rules For Life. It’s the book I wish I had when I was a struggling 20 something.
Often when unhappiness sets in, we feel a void in our life. Something is missing and we’re not sure what. Instead of staring into that void directly to see what is actually missing, we instead go looking for a quick fix in a pointless attempt to fill that void.
We amplify one other area of our life to make up for the lack.
Financial: If only I was rich, then I could be happy.
Career: If only I worked for >insert brand name< company, then I could be on the career track I want.
Personal Development: I’m going to think happy thoughts and watch YouTube videos about how I need to “crush it.” I just need more motivation!
Relationships: If only he loved me, then my life would be perfect. If only things worked out with her, I could have been the happiest man on earth with her love.
This void in life is dangerous stuff. Not simply because it is a source of unhappiness that causes pain and frustration, but more so because it causes a lack of interest for your life.
Lack of Interest is What is Holding You Back
Bear with me since this will take a little explaining for you to understand properly. Apathy is our word for that feeling of indifference, that lack of feeling for anything positive.
It is this state that I believe why so many struggle to find love and happiness. Love and happiness is only found when you take steps towards self realization, which is just another way of saying “become the best that you can be, the person you were meant to be”.
To attract the best, you need to become the best. But you’re not just going to become the best by sitting around with a lack of interest, and lack of passion for living. Wishing and hoping for things to change, but too demotivated to actually take action.
Often, the path to achieve what you want is laid out before you…
but a lack of interest in life has a counter active, demotivate force against your desires to not take action, or not enough action. So what can you do to change this so you do not always fall into the same pattern? So you actually get something done that is positive and forward progress?
First thing you can do is to be mindful of your thoughts. Including negative ones that seem to sprout up without any effort:
Thoughts become actions.
Actions become behaviors.
Behaviors become habits.
Habits become your personal character.
Your character becomes your future.
When being plagued by long term apathy and lack of interest, you start to confuse creation and perception as something you’re PASSIVELY experiencing when in fact you’re ACTIVELY creating it.
Does this describe you:
You feel like you’re just existing and not living? That your simply an observer to the world and not a participant. The world is a shade of beige, lifeless and flat. With nothing inspiring you. Nothing motivating you. Just going through the motions of everyday life waiting and hoping for something, anything to happen.
You start to think that maybe life is just really just about paying the bills, going to work, going home, being alone, rinse and repeat.
Sure short burst of happiness may inject themselves into your life every now and then, but happiness is not your default state. Your default state is more accurately described as bored with life or even depressed about certain aspects.
Fixing Your Lack of Interest
First off, stop denying your ability to create your reality. You chose how you wish to perceive something. Their is no such thing as passive perception. If your seeing the world as lifeless and flat, just going through the motions of survival then that is what will become your reality.
This is where the challenge lies for all of us.
You interpret the experiences around you through your “lack of interest” filter, but at the same time you’re also creating what you’re experiences. What happens is that your emotions cause a negative spiral. One where your negative perception of reality causes negative life experiences.
Because of these negative experiences you start to think you’re just living life and passively interpreting things while forgetting your also creating your reality, which in turn creates more negative experiences.
How do you put the breaks on this negative downward spiral and flip it so it is a positive upward spiral? This is something that takes years to get right. The most practical advice I can give to change your perception in an effort to feel better about yourself is to start moving forward. Start doing and start forming goals.
Form your goals by:
- 1) If you could make your life over, how would it look? WHAT WOULD YOU BE DOING EACH DAY.
- 2) How does the best version of you look, act and feel on a day to day basis? What things would your best self be doing?
- 3) Whatever your answer was, make it your “goal.”
The next step is to find what “values” are driving your goal.
If the goal has no value, it is just a goal in and of itself. The thing is however, all “goals” have a value driving them. You just need to keep delving deeper into the real reason you want to achieve said goal and then instead of trying to meet the goal, fulfill the value behind the goal.
The point of discovering what the values are behind your goals are critical because…
achieving goals with no value driven motivation behind it result in a quick shots of happiness that fade quickly. A goal like simply wanting to date more , have more sex, make more money or have a serious relationship will make you happy for a short time if you achieve it, but that happiness will eventually fade because you’re not acting on values, you’re just simply acting on goals without knowing the deeper why.
Let’s take the desire for a healthy long term relationship. Just wanting that is a goal in and of it self. As such, desiring it is a waste of time. You’re just tricking yourself into thinking that you need a long term relationship in order to be happy, and that you can not be happy until you achieve it.
Perhaps you want to be in a long term relationship because you value being loved, appreciated, and cared for. Once you realize that being love, appreciated, and cared is really what is driving your desire for a long term relationship… THAT is what you should live your life by.
Once you start to take positive actions towards your values and the values you want to live, your perception and creation of your life will begin to change for the better. You just may end up attracting a long term relationship by focusing on the values behind the goal.
In a sense, become value oriented, not goal oriented and happiness will always be around because your always acting in a positive way that is congruent with your values.
The continual forward movement of acting in a way that is in line with your values is what brings about happiness and achievement. Not simply goal setting.
Taking Action to Fix your Lack of Interest
To fix your lack of interest you need to improve your emotional state which will improve how you perceive and create your reality.
You DO NOT and CAN NOT control your emotions directly, but you can only control your ACTIONS which effect your emotions.
Follow the steps on finding value driven goals and you will discover what actions to take to improve your emotional state:
- 1) Once you discover a value driven goal, make a commitment to living it. You can do it because you simply build systems around living a value. Values are what you are.
- 2) Most goals are too vague. They’re just a delay tactic for our mind since it does not have to lock onto anything. Their is no next step. Avoid this.
- 3) Having clear goals with and understanding of the value behind them give our minds that next step. When you have your eye on the prize you will not notice the obstacles in your way. You will do what is needed because it is who you are.
If you’re feeling apathetic with a lack of interest, or bored and/or depressed about life you’re not broken. Based on what your perceiving your life to be like, boredom or depression is probably an accurate response.
The problem however is that you fail to realize you’re in a negative downward spiral. Where negative emotions make all experiences tainted, which create more negative emotions.
You’re also not sure how to put the breaks on this spiral, and you may not even be aware you’re creating fuel for the fire. However the small steps shown here will help you towards improving you’re emotional state in order to attract the things you want for yourself.
The default state is joy and feeling alive
Why is the default state joy? If you believe me that your thoughts create your reality, that you have the power to create and interpret your reality however you want, then why would you create anything less than joy for yourself?
Your feelings are an emotional compass.
A lack of interest or passion, a feeling of boredom or depression is simply a way your body and spirit is telling you to change. So change. Put yourself in motion. Go for a walk, a jog, drive a car fast. Think about the best you. What that you would do on a day to day basis. Think about your goal and try to find the value behind those goals and start living your values.
12 Rules for life – Essential Reading To get Your Life in Order
Jordan Peterson is is renown psychologist who previously taught at Harvard, has been made famous by his YouTube lectures, has a genius IQ and wrote this run-a-way best seller. I actually prefer the audio version as Dr Peterson is a highly verbal person.
If you’re wanting to get your life in order, this audio is book is an affordable must have.
Ultimate Edge – By Tony Robbins
Tony Robbins business is helping you to become that person you are capable of becoming. He’s a classic in this industry and someone I always go back to for motivation and inspiration.