How To Know If You are in The Friend Zone

When a Girl Gives You Excuses…

“So I’ve known this girl for a few years, she is incredibly beautiful and now attends the same college as me. She will casually hit me up and ask if I’m working. If we both have time, we’ll meet up for a few hours and have a great conversation about what we’ve been up to, stories, random stuff, B.S. Just talking. When we’re talking we’ll agree that we should go out on Friday or Saturday and get drinks or whatever. But she always flakes. ALWAYS.

Last time we we’re going to go out I texted her to see where she was to pick her up. She told me that she was still getting ready and would tell me in 15 minutes when she was done. She never called me or texted me and simply ignored my follow up messages. She later told me sorry and that she fell asleep and forgot. Other times she will just always give me some sort of an excuse like her being too tired or having to do something with family.

We have a great friendship and I don’t want to risk ruining it. But her always expecting me to give her the benefit of the doubt is getting annoying and tiring. It happens so much I feel like she is bullshitting me, but then at the same time she initiates contact. I don’t really know what I should do. What do you think?

Judge women (and people) by WHAT THEY DO not what they say.

This is true particularly for women and girls.

You’re a guy who she will spend time with if she has nothing better to do.

Read that again and let it sink in.

You’re a guy who she will spend time with if she has NOTHING better to do.

I get it why you’re confused. She initiates contact and you’re reading way too much into that, thinking that she has some sort of potential interest in you.

She does not.

When a Woman Likes You – She will make time for you. Period. End of story.

This flaking on Friday, constant excuses is all her way of indirectly telling you she’s not interested. It’s funny because young guys expect girls to be unreasonably direct. What do you want her to say? You’re not my type and I just want to be friends? Girls HATE conflict and this excuse stuff is simply their way of telling you their not interested.

Sort of like the way guys do a slow fade. You know what I’m talking about. When you’re not that into a girl, you slowly stop replying and responding.

Example of When a girl likes you and want’s to see you and how she will make time for you.

I went out with this sexy Kenyan girl in Bangkok. She was a math teacher and did a bit of acting in Kenya. Very beautiful and interesting. We chatted a bit on OKCupid, but this was the first time we meet. Our plan was to meet and simply have dinner. I had to go back to the town I was living in and the last van out of Bangkok was at 8 pm. I had to get back home because I had to take care of my friends cat (as she was traveling to Myanmar).

We had dinner, then she came back with me to the town I was living in 🙂

Right when we got back to my apartment it was on.

We ended up having a wonderful weekend of sex and travel around the town I lived in. 2 weeks later she came back for another round. Then 2 weeks after that she was in a committed relationship.

My point bringing this up is that this beautiful girl WHO JUST MEET ME IN PERSON sat on a van for 1 and a half hours to spend time with me because she was really into me. If she was not, or she was kind of sort of interested in me, our date would have ended at dinner as planed.

Girls will always make time for guys they like. If she gives you one excuses, fair enough, but multiple excuses is her way of saying she is not interested in you as anything more than a friend (you’re in the friend zone).

More examples:

I meet this young girl on a dating site. We talked for a bit, made plans to meet at some point, added each other on Facebook. Then 2 weeks later she had a BF!

Yea. This is what women do, talk to multiple men and pick the guy she likes.

They broke up a few months later and we reconnected again through Facebook. This time I thought for sure we would meet.

But again, it was excuse after excuse. She eventually told me she could meet me for lunch during the week but I told her NO.

I thought it was pretty lame that she would never go out with me on a Friday or Saturday and would only allow me the pleasure of paying for her lunch during her lunch break at work.

To this day we never meet in person.

Why? Well based on her pictures, she was a very beautiful young girl and had many men vying for her attention. She was just not that into me based on my pics. Maybe I was cute enough to potentially meet, but if a more attractive guy came along, she was going out with him Friday or Saturday.

Just how it is.

What Should You Do?

The way she treats you is unacceptable.



I’m not saying she is obligated to do anything, if she does not like you she does not have to go out with you. BUT anyone who I would consider a friend, man or woman treating me like that, would not be my friend.

The best thing you can do at this point is to simply accept she is not interested in you (because she is NOT) and to take your power back. Tell her you’re not romantically interested in HER and that you really don’t think it’s cool the way she treats you.

Don’t be mean or anything, but let her know that HEY, stop assuming you have me wrapped around your finger (young pretty girls tend to think every guy that talks to them likes them) and also that she’s not allowed to treat you like that.


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