Your thoughts help shape your reality. Understanding that is the first step towards fixing an uninspired life filled with a lack of interest.
Often when unhappiness sets in, we feel a void in our life. Something is missing and we’re not sure what. Instead of staring into that void directly to see what is actually missing, we instead go looking for a quick fix in a pointless attempt to fill that void.
We amplify one other area of our life to make up for the lack.
Financial: If only I was making XYZ amount of money, then I could be happy.
Career: If only I worked for >insert brand name< company, then I could be on the career track I want.
Personal Development: I’m going to think happy thoughts and watch YouTube videos about how I need to “crush it.” I just need more motivation!
Relationships: If only he loved me, then my life would be perfect. If only things worked out with her, I could have been the happiest man on earth with her love.
This void in life is dangerous stuff. Not simply because it is a source of unhappiness that causes pain and frustration, but more so because it causes a lack of interest for your life.
Lack of Interest is What is Holding You Back
Apathy is our word for that feeling of indifference, that lack of feeling for anything positive. It is this state that I believe why so many struggle to find happiness.
Love and happiness will only visit you (if you’re lucky) once you start chasing excellence and actually becoming the best version of you. This could take years as it did for me, but if you don’t pursue what you’re interested in you will 100% only have everything bad about life (and nothing good).
To attract the best, you need to become the best.
But you’re not just going to become the best by sitting around with a lack of interest, and lack of passion for living. Wishing and hoping for things to change, but too demotivated to actually take action.
Often, the path to achieve what you want is laid out before you…
but a lack of interest in life has a counter active, demotivate force against your desires to not take action, or not enough action.
So what can you do to change this so you do not always fall into the same pattern? So you actually get something done that is positive and forward progress?
First thing you can do is to be mindful of your thoughts. Including negative ones that seem to sprout up without any effort:
Thoughts become actions. Actions become behaviors. Behaviors become habits. Habits become your personal character.
Your character becomes your future.
When being plagued by long term apathy and lack of interest, you start to confuse creation and perception as something you’re PASSIVELY experiencing when in fact you’re ACTIVELY creating it.
Does this describe you?
You feel like you’re just existing and not living? That your simply an observer to the world and not a participant. The world is a shade of beige, lifeless and flat. With nothing inspiring you. Nothing motivating you. Just going through the motions of everyday life waiting and hoping for something, anything to happen.
You start to think that maybe life is just really just about paying the bills, going to work, going home, being alone, rinse and repeat.
Sure short burst of happiness may inject themselves into your life every now and then, but happiness is not your default state. Your default state is more accurately described as bored with life or even depressed about certain aspects.
Fixing Your Lack of Interest
First off, stop denying your ability to create your reality. You chose how you wish to perceive something. Their is no such thing as passive perception. If your seeing the world as lifeless and flat, just going through the motions of survival then that is what will become your reality.
This is where the challenge lies for all of us.
You interpret the experiences around you through your “lack of interest” filter, but at the same time you’re also creating what you’re experiences. What happens is that your emotions cause a negative spiral. One where your negative perception of reality causes negative life experiences.
Because of these negative experiences you start to think you’re just living life and passively interpreting things while forgetting your also creating your reality, which in turn creates more negative experiences.
How do you put the breaks on this negative downward spiral and flip it so it is a positive upward spiral? This is something that takes years to get right. The most practical advice I can give to change your perception in an effort to feel better about yourself is to start moving forward. Start doing and start forming goals.
Form your goals by:
1) How do you want to spend your days? What is an ideal day like for you?
2) How does the best version of you look, act and feel on a day to day basis? What things would your best self be doing?
3) Whatever your answer was, make it your “goal.”
Next find what “values” are driving your goal.
If the goal has no value, it is just a goal in and of itself. The thing is however, all “goals” have a value driving them. You just need to keep delving deeper into the real reason you want to achieve said goal and then instead of trying to meet the goal, fulfill the value behind the goal.
Goals and what you value personally
Achieving goals with no value driven motivation behind it result in a quick shot of happiness that fade quickly because you’re not acting on the underlying values, you’re just simply acting on goals without knowing the deeper why.
Let’s take the desire for a healthy long term relationship. Just wanting that is a goal in and of it self. As such, desiring it is a waste of time. You’re just tricking yourself into thinking that you need a long term relationship in order to be happy, and that you can not be happy until you achieve it.
Perhaps you want to be in a long term relationship because you value being loved, appreciated, and cared for. Once you realize that being love, appreciated, and cared is really what is driving your desire for a long term relationship that is what you should live your life by.
Once you start to take positive actions towards your values and the values you want to live, your perception and creation of your life will begin to change for the better. You just may end up attracting a long term relationship by focusing on the values behind the goal.
In a sense, become value oriented, not goal oriented and happiness will always be around because your always acting in a positive way that is congruent with your values.
The continual forward movement of acting in a way that is in line with your values is what brings about happiness and achievement. Not simply goal setting.
Taking Action to Fix your Lack of Interest
To fix your lack of interest you need to improve your emotional state which will improve how you perceive and create your reality.
You do not and can not control your emotions directly, but you can only control your actions which effect your emotions.
Follow the steps on finding value driven goals and you will discover what actions to take to improve your emotional state:
1) Once you discover a value driven goal, make a commitment to living it.
You can do it because you simply build systems around living a value. Values are what you are.
2) Most goals are too vague.
They’re just a delay tactic for our mind since it does not have to lock onto anything. Their is no next step. Avoid this.
3) Having clear goals with and understanding of the value behind them give our minds that next step.
When you have your eye on the prize you will not notice the obstacles in your way. You will do what is needed because it is who you are.
If you’re feeling apathetic with a lack of interest, or bored and/or depressed about life you’re not broken. Based on what your perceiving your life to be like, boredom or depression is probably an accurate response.
The problem however is that you fail to realize you’re in a negative downward spiral. Where negative emotions make all experiences tainted, which create more negative emotions.
You’re also not sure how to put the breaks on this spiral, and you may not even be aware you’re creating fuel for the fire. However the small steps shown here will help you towards improving you’re emotional state in order to attract the things you want for yourself.
The default state is feeling engaged and alive
Life is hard, no doubt about it. Happiness is wonderful and rare, love even more so. But when you take on life and pursue what you’re mean’t to become and do you’ll feel a sense or purpose and engagement with reality and life.
Gone is the lost feeling, the lack of interest. I’m not saying you’ll be blissfully happy, but you can create a personal hell for yourself or a life of joy and adventure.
Your feelings are an emotional compass.
A lack of interest or passion, a feeling of boredom or depression is simply a way your body and spirit is telling you to change. So change. Put yourself in motion. Go for a walk, a jog, drive a car fast. Think about the best you.
What that you would do on a day to day basis. Think about your goal and try to find the value behind those goals and start living your values.
For additional reading checkout
12 Rules for Life – This is the book I wish I had when I was a struggling 20 something. Get the audio version as Dr Peterson is a highly verbal and is simply better than the book.
Instead of pay an excessive amount of money for some Tony Robbins feel good course, get a world best seller written by an expert.